RIP: Fake obituaries for staff, students


DISCLAIMER – Please keep in mind that this is all in jest. Do not take anything here seriously.

Doctor Teran Chun – Passed Maytember 16, 2056
Doctor Teren Chun passed away while trying out life as a matador on Maytember 16 in the year 2056 after leading a long and fulfilling life.
Doctor Chun was born on one day of a year long ago in the slums of Detroit. Despite all the many challenges that hunted him down through his life, he successfully graduated at BYU-Idaho with a doctorate in completion and minors in marine biology, animorph biology, and cheese study. He will be missed. The funeral is Maytember 20th, at the local graveyard in Booniesville.

Jaclyn Hicken – Passed Yesterday 1, Next Year
Jaclyn Hicken passed away on Yesterday 1 in the year of Next surrounded by pigeons and Jack Skellington.
Jaclyn Hicken was born on a different day of a separate year in Roosevelt. Fifty years before, it had been a thriving town of 1 billion people, but everything changed when the Great Depression attacked. To say it simply, it was decimated.
“However, these hardships made her stronger.” Former student, Davy Jones Locker, said on the matter. “She was the greatest teacher in the history of great teachers.”
As a sarcastic spitfire, Jaclyn Hicken was truly “one dynamite gal”. The ceremony will be taking place Octember 12 at Mountain View.

Chas DeWitt – Passed December 32, 123
Chas DeWitt passed away on December 32, 123 with his pet chimichanga watching over him.
Chas DeWitt was born once upon a time in the mystical land of Camelot. As the long-lost son of Merlin, he had an aptitude for magic. His specialty was using it in paperwork, being able to copy and paste things with the utmost ease.
He decided to work at Mountain View so that he could make a big difference in the world. Throughout his career, he succeeded in his goal, helping thousands, if not millions, of students in the process.
Chas DeWitt was a hard-working, earnest man. He will be missed. The procession will be on January -5 at the Mountain View Cemetery.