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The Bruin Post

Christmas in November?

A satirical take on Christmas traditions
Christmas in November?

When can I put up my Christmas decorations? This simple question has been the cause of debate, contention even, over the course of centuries. The greatest historians of our day and age argue that it possibly was the greatest cause of the American Revolution. The literal blood of our ancestors many generations ago has been shed and yet many still live this life without ever finding truth. Thus I have set out to finish what was started by our founding fathers. Once finished with this OBJECTIVE opinion article the enlightened reader will never again wonder when to start decorating for the much favored holiday.

It is my unbiased belief and unwavering truth that the commencement of the display of paraphernalia for the season of snow, giving and Hallmark movies is only moral when performed after the conclusion of Thanksgiving. This, my statement, can be backed by 3 NON-subjective pieces drawn from the incredible expanse that is the ingenuity of the great minds that have shaped our culture and society. These read as follows:
Christmas gets old
Respect Thanksgiving
It will put you on Santa’s naughty list

To your average Joe the feel of Christmas grows old. The aura, or vibe, of the stereotypical snowy white, warm and cozy season of hot cocoa becomes mundane and commonplace. The great majority of Christmas enthusiasts will deny this phenomenon and will claim to have the desire of a perpetual christmas season. Oftentime our most cherished childhood memories were not those that were everyday occurrences but the rare and special memories. And an individual commonly has few of these cherished memories. Familiarity with the easy lifestyle where nothing is earned and all is given breeds boredom and greed. And so it must be, we cannot allow christmas time to be extended beyond the appropriate time frame.

Due respect must be paid to Thanksgiving. Though it is only nationally recognized in the US it is internationally recognized. A diverse portion of the population across the globe consider this holiday to be a minor holiday, a subdivision, almost, of christmas. This, simply, cannot be. As Raymie Skeen of Provo High says “Respect the turkeys.” It is a holiday to celebrate gratitude (a quality everyone could use a little more of) and even more importantly: FOOD! So thus it is, it cannot be looked over because a bigger holiday is around the corner.

Our beloved Santa Claus admonished against the evil practice of decorating too early. “If an individual disregards the importance of a society of order and decorates before thanksgiving then come christmas mourn’ they may just find coal in their stocking,” Claus said. Later mentioning how he and Mrs. Claus need all the time they can get to prepare for the holly jolly season.

So please everyone, let us practice cautious and correctly timed utilization of the red and green in our homesteads, lest we land ourselves premium spots on Santa’s naughty list.

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