Opinion: Teen dating

April Montalvo

Teenagers nowadays in a way have high expectations for dating. I’m not sure if it’s because we wanna experience what love is, or if it’s because we’ve seen movies that made it seem that it’s such a wonderful thing to experience. Since we’re in high school, I feel like most of us really wanna see what it is like to date. You can’t help but think about what it’s like to have someone actually like you, or have someone to always hangout with you and spend time with you. Teenage love is something that we wanna feel, or at least some of us. I would say half of us don’t really care about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. The other half is desperate to find a lover.

I would say that most teens just want a boyfriend/girlfriend just for the experience not because they actually like them. While I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, I would say that in a way it’s a good thing because then you’ll know what you want and expect in a relationship. But if you’re just dating to break someone’s heart then that’s just wrong.

Again, I think that the media really portrays love being easy for teens. I mean with all these songs and movies coming out, what else do we expect? Media can really make a big impact on teenage minds. If we see and hear what teenage love is supposed to look like, then we are trained and expect that’s how love is supposed to be.

But most of the time it’s not what it is in the movies or shows, or at least that’s what I think.

Although I will say there are some expectations on music describing love, for some teens music lyrics really mean a lot to them. Words really can make you feel so special or really hurt you. Songs can remind you of your crush and really help you describe how you feel. Or when you break up with them, again it really can help you with your emotions and describe how you feel at that moment.

I’m only bringing this up because I feel like most teens really don’t know how to express themselves that well, so whenever I hear about breakups it’s mostly on little things like they weren’t getting much attention, the communication wasn’t there, they wouldn’t really tell their significant other how they truly felt. That’s how most relationships end in high school. 

And to top it all off we aren’t really that mature to have a relationship yet because most of the time we don’t know how to handle certain situations, which is fine because how else will we learn if we don’t experience it?  That’s why teenagers can be so messy and crazy because we’re trying to figure ourselves out while figuring out someone else. I will say some relationships are just plain great, they give each other space and they  communicate well. It’s a healthy relationship, but I think that’s pretty rare.  

I also believe that teens should know the down side of dating or at least be aware. Such as toxicness, abusive and manipulative relationships. This can really be a dangerous thing for teens because most don’t know when it’s happening or what it looks like. They’re so focused on being in “love” that it can actually be damaging.

There’s so much research on how teenagers are more likely to get into bad relationships, so being aware of who you choose to like or love is important; it’s good to have high expectations for others. But you should also make sure that you’re accomplishing that expectation too.  I would also recommend talking to your parents or guardians about how a relationship works and what it means to them, and you should also make sure that they are aware of who you’re dating. You might think it’s not their business, but it really is. 

Again, just always make sure you don’t get yourself into a sticky situation.

As a senior in high school, I’ve seen good and bad relationships and my best opinion is not to get into a serious relationship; have a fun time enjoying your teen years. Go to dances with other people and friends. You have your whole life ahead of you. Why limit it in the “funnest years of your life”?  I’ve seen people drift away from their own friends groups because of dating. Yes, this may not happen to you, and I’m not saying that this is a negative thing, at the end of the day you do you. 

 I do want to say some positive things about teen dating, one of them is that it helps with being more social and getting to know more people. Which is always a positive thing. I think that you should just date around and not commit to just one person. You’ll definitely miss more experience, and most likely regreat not going through those fun high school experiences with your friends.

Anyways, the only things I want to make clear are to be careful, be aware and be mindful of others. And don’t feel bad if you aren’t ready for a relationship. Remember, being in one doesn’t make the problems go away; you can’t fulfill your happiness through others. It can definitely help you, but it won’t solve the problem.